


Aliens

by jmtorres



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alien Biology, Aliens, Gender, Other, Trans, anti-ship, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-23
Updated: 2006-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/87854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmtorres/pseuds/jmtorres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It should probably be construed as a warning that I considered this my revenge on Gwen/Owen shippers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aliens

"Gwen," Jack called from his office, "a word?"

"Yeah, what is it?" Gwen asked.

"Close the door," said Jack. "Have a seat."

Baffled, Gwen pulled the door shut behind herself and sat down. "What's up, Jack?"

"There's one or two things you should probably know if you're going to be involved with Owen," said Jack, looking serious, "and I'm not sure I trust him to tell you himself."

"Hang on, how did you know I'm involved with him?" Gwen demanded.

Jack smiled. "You mean, aside from cameras everywhere, including down in the lab _and_ in the SUV, and the fact that you hooked up on the Hub IM?" Gwen shifted uncomfortably. "You haven't exactly been subtle."

"Okay, fine," said Gwen. "What is it you want to tell me? I should be careful about office romances? He's an arse and a bastard? He swings both ways and you've had him?"

"He's an alien from another planet," said Jack.

"He's _what_?" said Gwen.

"And technically female," Jack added.

"He is not, I've seen his, you know," Gwen said, gesturing crotchward.

"I imagine you have," Jack agreed.

"Well, he's got a prick, hasn't he," Gwen protested.

"Ovipositor," Jack corrected her. "Technically."

"What, are you saying he's been laying eggs in me?" Gwen said.

"Gwen," said Jack. "Please tell me you've had the sense to use condoms."

"Well, yes!" Gwen said.

"Then, no, he hasn't been laying eggs in you," Jack said.

"Wait a mo'," said Gwen. "Why are you calling him 'he,' if he's female, supposedly?"

Jack shrugged. "He self-identifies as male. It's his choice. It's not like the human male/female dynamic means a lot in a species where the females lay eggs in the males' paralyzed bodies and the offspring eat the males when they hatch, anyway."

"They do what, now?" Gwen asked.

"Oh, relax," said Jack. "Even if he _were_ laying eggs in you, it's not like they'd hatch. It's not like _you_ can fertilize them."

"Oh, good," Gwen said faintly.

"Anyway," said Jack, "I just thought you should know before you did anything rash."

"Right," Gwen said, dazed. "Thanks."

\---

Owen came by her desk at the end of the day, all cheerful smiles and knocking on the wall to get her attention. "Anyone home?" he asked. "You coming, or planning to spend the night in front of your computer?"

"Jack says you're an alien," Gwen said.

"That bastard," said Owen. "Outed me, did he? You still up for drinks?"

**Author's Note:**

> Also archived on dreamwidth: <http://jmtorres.dreamwidth.org/982739.html>


End file.
